I have fir trees, holly and ivy all growing around me – no excuse not to make my own Christmas wreath this year.
Except ignorance. So I turned to the internet.
The advice on all sides is to start with a bought wreath base and then stick things on it. But I don’t want a fake pine base: I want the real thing. So I’ve started from scratch, all on my own.
How to Make a Christmas Wreath
1) First, take an above-ground swimming pool – I used a 12 foot diameter, but a smaller pool would do. Assemble on the lawn, fill with water and leave until the end of the summer. Then take down and store in garage. You will find that all the grass under the pool has died, and been replaced by a sinister brown, fibrous moss. This moss is ideal for the construction of a Christmas Wreath.
2) Next, take a 150 cm x 25 cm strip of chicken wire formerly used to protect the sunflowers from the chooks. Spread this on the ground, fill the centre with a fat line of moss like meat in a sausage roll, (or rice in a sushi roll if you’re from the Home Counties) and roll into a sausage, twisting the wire sides together together to form a secure tube. Then join the two ends of the tube to form a circle – viola!
3) You will find that the result sags horribly when lifted, so stretch a coat hanger into a circle (retaining the hook) and attach your moss-and-wire base onto this with plant ties. Test by hanging the result up by the coat-hanger hook, and if the whole thing threatens to come apart, add more plant ties.
4) Now comes the exciting part. Poke bits of fir tree into the moss and attach them to the wire frame with plant ties. Go on, keeping the foliage pointing in one direction so that each piece covers the previous tie, until you’ve gone all the way round. Bung in some bits of holly with the berries still on. Admire results.
Cost – nothing, bar a little suffering from the chicken wire.
Time taken – one hour.
Result – pretty good I think, considering. More Green Man that Gentle Jesus, but definitely not shop-bought and all the better for it. And I can keep poking more bits of holly in as I pass, which will keep me amused until Christmas.
Based on long experience, I don’t really expect anything I make to actually work. There must be a catch…
Except ignorance. So I turned to the internet.
The advice on all sides is to start with a bought wreath base and then stick things on it. But I don’t want a fake pine base: I want the real thing. So I’ve started from scratch, all on my own.
How to Make a Christmas Wreath
1) First, take an above-ground swimming pool – I used a 12 foot diameter, but a smaller pool would do. Assemble on the lawn, fill with water and leave until the end of the summer. Then take down and store in garage. You will find that all the grass under the pool has died, and been replaced by a sinister brown, fibrous moss. This moss is ideal for the construction of a Christmas Wreath.
2) Next, take a 150 cm x 25 cm strip of chicken wire formerly used to protect the sunflowers from the chooks. Spread this on the ground, fill the centre with a fat line of moss like meat in a sausage roll, (or rice in a sushi roll if you’re from the Home Counties) and roll into a sausage, twisting the wire sides together together to form a secure tube. Then join the two ends of the tube to form a circle – viola!
3) You will find that the result sags horribly when lifted, so stretch a coat hanger into a circle (retaining the hook) and attach your moss-and-wire base onto this with plant ties. Test by hanging the result up by the coat-hanger hook, and if the whole thing threatens to come apart, add more plant ties.
4) Now comes the exciting part. Poke bits of fir tree into the moss and attach them to the wire frame with plant ties. Go on, keeping the foliage pointing in one direction so that each piece covers the previous tie, until you’ve gone all the way round. Bung in some bits of holly with the berries still on. Admire results.
Cost – nothing, bar a little suffering from the chicken wire.
Time taken – one hour.
Result – pretty good I think, considering. More Green Man that Gentle Jesus, but definitely not shop-bought and all the better for it. And I can keep poking more bits of holly in as I pass, which will keep me amused until Christmas.
Based on long experience, I don’t really expect anything I make to actually work. There must be a catch…
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